Updated: Nov 21, 2021
Were you raised to suck it up and ignore what you were feeling inside? Did you get hushed up or made to feel unworthy?
Significant life events, whether positive or negative, can cause psychological stress. Emotional trauma, abuse, divorce, miscarriage, the death of a loved one, or the loss of a job, can cause most people to feel grief or distress.
Even events that are considered positive like getting married, having a child, or purchasing a home can challenge our mental fortitude. Because of life stresses, there is a large portion of the population that have unhealthy coping mechanisms.
The inability to deal with stress in a healthy way can lead us to over or under eating, porn addiction, alcohol and drug abuse. The way we were raised has a big influence on how we deal with or recognize emotions. Were you raised to ‘suck it up’ or ignore your feelings? Did you learn how to cope with strife in a healthy way?
Certain events have the power to freeze us in our tracks and turn our whole world upside down
You can be left feeling vulnerable, angry, depressed, afraid, bitter, or ashamed. Many people do not let these natural feelings express through their body.
The feelings, that should have been moved through the mind and body, end up being held onto in our physical body. This creates stagnation in the energy and can create looping nervous system patterns and habits.
The first step to heal and transform your unprocessed emotions or painful life experiences is to recognize them. These repressed emotions generate stress, negative thoughts, and poor self-image beliefs. All of which manifest in our bodies as a suppressed immune system, disease, muscle pain and inflammation.
Learn how to be your own best friend
Perhaps you are sympathetic to others and listen with love when they pour their heart out or seek your advice. Do you do this for yourself? Our world changes, when we start treating ourself as special as we treat others.
You must learn how to be on your own side….Release anger at yourself for becoming your own worst enemy. You did not know what else to do. You did not have good guidance from the influencing adults around you. How were you supposed to know?
Usually, these traumas and wounds happen when we are a small child. A child looks to others to find out what it is, who it is, and how it fits into the world. Our programs get instilled in us from the ages of 0 to 7.
If others were sending you the message that you were not valuable or lovable, then you had the natural human reaction. You took up the same behavior toward yourself that they showed toward you. Now you must go back and re-parent yourself.
This is something that I have been working on in my own life. It is a daily mindful practice. I have had to focus on not living my life disconnected. Not making choices in my life that is in contradiction to my best interest.
Let’s just say I did not learn as a child how to deal with emotions in a healthy way. I am by nature a nurturer. I did not know how to set boundaries or understand how ignoring my emotions were so damaging.
This mindset has been destructive when it comes to personal relationships. The result often led to emotions of unworthiness and failure. It can be a very damaging loop to be stuck in when you base your self-worth on another’s happiness.
We have to work on making choices that bring us just as much happiness as the person we are trying to make happy. The challenge is finding the balance between our natural tendencies to people please and making choices that also make us happy.
The first step in finding this balance is connecting back to yourself and your inner knowing. Some people refer to this as intuition or gut feeling. This means spending time with your own thoughts to evaluate your emotions.
When you do this often, you start to hear (for lack of a better word) the different tone and feeling your inner voice has vs. the EGO. I found and still find this a challenging task. It can be hard to differentiate between your emotions, EGO’s, and another’s.
Mastering the ability to listen to your inner wisdom instead of EGO is the best way to truly heal. If you check out my video in the link below The Voices in Your Head….EGO or Intuition…… you can see more about the difference between the ego voice or the intuition voice.
The next time you are overwhelmed or confused by your emotions spend a moment to evaluate why you are feeling the way you do. We all have people that we encounter in our daily life that challenge us.
Does interacting or being around them make you feel drained, bad, or upset? The reason this happens is the negative energy projected from the other person is absorbed into your body and changes how you feel. You have now absorbed someone else’s energy.
It is possible to be in a great mood and encounter a negative energy….you will find yourself now in a negative mindset or in a bad mood. I will link the video below on signs of being empathic.
The best thing to do if you feel that way around someone is to take a few deep breaths in and slowly exhale until you feel your mood shift. Focusing on your breathing and turning your attention inward is the quickest way to center yourself and keep their energy from affecting you. You are in control of who you allow to affect you and your personal health.
Ideally, it is best to not allow negative people and their lower frequencies into your life. The trick is how to maintain a higher more positive environment when the negativity is coming from family members, a boss, or coworker.
In those cases, all you can do is battle positive thoughts against the negative ones that you are inundated with. And remember that the way someone else feels about you may just be a reflection of how they feel about themselves. It is just being projected onto you.
When you allow someone else’s thoughts and opinions about you to affect you physically or mentally, you are giving your power away to them. I stick to the motto, “It is none of my business what anyone thinks about me.”
If the emotions you are feeling are not from someone else but from within, evaluate the emotion and work on it. Emotions can be tricky but with reflection and honesty with yourself, you can heal.
Ultimately, the only one you can control or change is you. You are in control of your responses, emotions, and the outside energy you allow to affect you.
The bottom line is you have to take care of yourself first. Shifting these old patterns held in your neural physiology creates new neural pathways and clears old or damaging emotions… where they no longer stimulate reactivity or stress.
When you clear traumatic memories or trapped emotions your cells will release the energy blocks causing physical damage to your body. By locating and understanding the origin of these energy blocks, you can dissolve them.
You’ll then be able to change these energies the moment you realize you’re feeling triggered and reactive. With mindfulness and practice you can change how you react.